Leadership Lessons from a Prison Cell, Part II

Accountability is Non-Negotiable

Some of the most amusing characters in prison were those who never did anything wrong. I had a cellmate who was convicted of burning his ex-wife’s house down. He said he didn’t do it, and I could care less whether he did or not. But he was insistent. He wasn’t even at the scene, and he had several friends who could attest to that. But his ex-wife was completely out to get him, so she burned her own house down and blamed him. What a horrible person.

He was so insistent that he hadn’t done anything wrong, that he spent the better part of his days in the law library, filing briefs. He asked me to review one of them. I was confused by a certain part of it, so I referred to the trial transcript and read the portion of the transcript where he admitted to telling his friends that he was going to go burn his ex-wife’s house down before getting into his car to go burn his ex-wife’s house down.

I loved the guy in my work squad who had been convicted of seven DWI’s. He was convinced that he had a terrible problem driving when he was drunk and fully committed to no longer driving when he drank. Or the other guy who was convinced that the police in Montgomery County concocted the case against him because of his mob ties. He always had the best jokes and made us laugh uproariously.

I loved these characters. They made prison conversation so amusing. Without a doubt, they were going to return to prison soon after they were released.  

The unit where I was housed during most of my prison term was surrounded by a 30-foot-high brick wall. During the long heartbreaking nights, I imagined that each brick in that wall represented someone who was harmed by someone inside. We were surrounded on all sides by the people we harmed. I also knew there was a wall somewhere out in the “free world” with bricks representing all the trauma and failure heaped upon the people sleeping near me. 

Accountability is a hard line. It’s the only route to true freedom, whether you are walking on the prison yard or in the “free world”. I knew that I would never be truly free unless I was willing to be accountable for the impact of my actions on others.

Few people truly want an apology. They want accountability. They want people to own the impact of their words and actions on others, and they want to see them do something about it. It’s actually quite simple. Accountability sets people free. 

Years after prison I was accused of racism. Someone on my team was not doing what they said they would do, and I never said a thing. I just finished their work and showed up for important meetings when they didn’t. The person was Black and I was white, and I’m certain that race played a role in me avoiding a direct conversation with them. 

Finally, the issue came to a head. I confronted them about something unrelated to their performance. It went badly. I grew angry and reminded them that I was their supervisor. They hung up on me. Later, I was confronted by people outside of my organization who had heard about the conflict. They accused me of being a racist supervisor. 

I was defensive and angry for several days. There are few things worse than being called a racist in our society, and I thought my career and reputation were irreparably damaged. I thought of how I could apologize to make this all right. 

And then I decided instead to be accountable. It was my job to invest in my team, but instead I avoided those very conversations that would help them to grow in their career. I never asked them to be accountable. Instead, I just reminded them of my place on the organizational chart. It was the very definition of a racist supervision style. I had to be accountable, and never again fail to invest in people on my team.

Successful leaders are accountable no matter what. They don’t blame others. They are willing to do what it takes to make things right. 

A highlight of my leadership training practice  is working with formerly incarcerated people to help them advance in their careers. Those who know the lessons of accountability soar above many people who have never seen the inside of a prison cell. They are truly free. 

Allow me to help your organization create a leadership culture where people soar: doug@d-degree.com