Leadership Lessons from a Prison Cell Part IV: Always Notice the Leadership Qualities You See In Others

There are so many leadership trainers and books out there. Some of them are quite good. But few of them get to the root of leadership effectiveness, which can only be found internally. As we used to say in prison, ‘It’s an inside job, baby!”

It starts with recognizing you were born to lead, regardless of your job title or position. Everyone was born with the innate capacity to turn a vision into reality in the world. To inspire others to act. To instill trust. You are a creator. When your actions are aligned with this truth, you find a sense of flow in the work you do. 

And if it’s true for us, then it’s true for others. Our effectiveness with others springs from whether we see others as born to lead or whether we don’t. It’s a decision we make. When we make that decision, we see leadership everywhere.

I saw it in prison. On one occasion, a younger officer noticed an escalating conflict between two people. One of them bore all of the physical signs of having experienced fetal alcohol syndrome, and he had a tendency toward sudden violence. His face was flushed with rage. The officer recognized the situation, and approached with care. He spoke with a powerfully soft voice that neutralized the angry noise, like an older brother pulling his younger brother away from danger. The officer simply told him, “It’s ok.” 

The situation stands out, because I had so rarely seen other officers handle similar situations with such ease. Most other officers treated us exactly how they saw us, with predictable results. This young officer saw us differently, and he quietly communicated to that young man that even he was born to lead. 

I learned to see leadership qualities everywhere. I saw it in the gang leaders who possessed an uncanny ability to maintain peace between rivals. I saw it in a chapel music leader who inspired men to sing and play at peak abilities. I saw it in the brilliance of men who spent their days at the law library, teaching themselves to research, write, and advocate. I am no longer surprised when I hear of someone who goes from prison to running a successful business. Those qualities were in them all along. 

This is one of the most powerful - and delightful - of all of the leadership lessons: always notice the leadership qualities you see in others, no matter how they show up. When you do this simple thing, your relationships with others change. When you tell others what you see in them, they will show that quality even more clearly. And they do the same for others. It’s magic.

As a leadership development trainer, I spend very little time discussing leadership “skills.” Instead, I create an experience to help people see more clearly - themselves and others. 


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Who You Were Born to Be

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Leadership Lessons from a Prison Cell Part III: You Can Only Transform What You Truly Own